tougher then that

Posted by meli on Monday, December 03, 2012 in marriage, mental heath, travel | 2 comments

That fear that was holding me in one spot.
Preventing me from answering the calls of the open road.
Stalling me from living my dreams.

Yea, that fear...
I flipped it off and walked away from it.

"cause I'm as free as a bird now"

Always have been; I just needed a little reminder.

You see. My husband and I ... we've had (have) a rocky relationship. PTSD and TBI and a whoooooole lot of selfish choices on his part and protective reactions on mine make for some pretty steep mountains to climb. We're climbing, but steep sheer rocks lend themselves to a lot of slipping. Sometimes it's 2 steps forward; 1 step back. Sometimes it's 1 step forward; 20 steps back. A process. A hard, rocky, often tumultuous process. The thought of being on the open road definitely has potential to scare me to my core. And I have let it on numerous occasions. Scare me. The thought of him walking out, again. Leaving us stranded in the middle of no where. With no savings account. It's a real possibility. And it's scary.

BUT!

I refuse to let fear dictate my life.
It may have stalled me up for a moment or two,
but it won't win.

I'm made of shit way tougher then that, baby!

We're rolling out Wednesday!