December 6, 2009

Results Are In ...

NO spinal mass!!!
Such awesome news!

There IS a protrusion there, but the MRI concluded that it isn't a mass... instead it is most likely caused by the vertically herniated disk diverting the spinal fluid flow.

Such a relief!
So it's just the thyroid to worry about. The Dr has said it isn't an emergency, "must remove now", situation as it isn't rapidly growing. Surgery will be sometime soon after the new year.

In other thyroid news ...
I had my annual check up last week (and by annual I mean... this is the first check-up I've had in 5 years! Bad, I know :-P). So, we did the normal stuff. Pap came back fine (something I worry about because of family history, so I am extremely relieved that after 5 years of ignoring my fears, the tests came back fine), and we ran a panel of blood tests just to check stuff out.

I must preface this with what the Dr said to me during the exam...
Upon looking at my chart, she looked up at me with a surprising look and said...
"WOW, it's rare these days that I see a patient in here that is at healthy weight, do you do anything to maintain that or are you just blessed with good genes"?
To which I replied... "I focus a good deal on being healthy"

Ok, skip ahead to the call I received from her regarding the results from the lab work...
"Hi Mrs Paul (wish people would just call me Meli, lol), I just wanted to go over your lab results with you. Everything came back good, except for surprisingly your thyroid levels"!

WTF?! The irony... is it funny to anyone else?

Irony #1 ... we have the thyroid issues just discovered in my husband!
Irony #2 ... "my my, you're at such a healthy weight, it's rare I see that these days"!

Again I say ...WTF!?

She said my levels were high, which indicates a slow thyroid (hypothyroidism). She wants me to come back in a couple of weeks to have my levels retested, see if perhaps it was just a fluke or something, and we'll go from there. I had been under a great deal of stress, not really eating much as my stomach felt so upset, and I haven't been exercising as much as I used to, so it's possible all of that affected the results. Now that Nicks results are in (and the news was AWESOME) my stress level has greatly decreased, and my appetite is back. Coupled with me resuming regular exercise, and adding in some good thyroid rejuvenating foods, herbs, etc ... hopefully those levels will look better in a couple of week!

December 2, 2009

it's not the dreads fault

My dreads are two months old (well, they will be tomorrow). Still very new and ever changing. Making them so easy to pick on. I had a feeling this would happen. Atleast I was prepared for it this time ... Able to recognize and curb the crazy before it took over.

Over the past week I've found myself disliking my dreads more and more. Having urges to fix this or to fix that. Even tempted on a couple of occasions to just take them out ... resigned to the fact that this journey obviously isn't for me. And knowing that taking them out this time would be a helluva lot easier and quicker then it was the first time (they're much older this time, but not nearly as thick, strong, and formed as last from all of my poking and prodding) made it all the more tempting.

But, my dear readers, I am happy to report that I recognized the distress for what it was. Again, not at all about my hair (well, maybe a little... lol), but more about the disarray that my/our lives are in. Knowing how close to divorce we were just a short week / 2 weeks ago. Seeing how that alone has affected our children, and wondering how the sudden merge together again will affect them. Being hit with the news of cancer, but not yet knowing the full extent of it. Waiting on more testing, while forcing ourselves to remain positive and grateful, and not always succeeding in that. Searching for the right way to tell the children when all the answers do finally come in. Really hoping and praying that this is the "thing" Nick has been praying for for years to give him the strength and confidence he needs to turn his life around, but being utterly anxious and terrified that I am walking face first into hell, again... putting my heart and those of my children on the line to be destroyed, again. All the while asking for a level of strength and courage and humbleness that I'm not sure if I posses. It's easier to just throw all of those feelings into, again, my hair. But, not this time!! These are all feelings I need to accept and face, not hide behind. My anxiety will NOT get the better of me this time. I'm on to myself, muah ha ha ha!

The additional testing has been scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully on Friday, early next week at the latest, we'll have more answers. That alone is a relief and something to be grateful for. Soon... soon we'll know.

Where this leaves my dreads ... I may not be overly satisfied with them right now, but I do still love them. I know that patience and time is all that is needed for these bebes to grow into the beauties I know they can be. Until then, all the loose, curvy, loopies are becoming beautiful to me.