Spank-Out Day

Posted by meli on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 in parenting, social justices and controversial topics | 1 comment

Today is, or I guess was National Spank-Out day. I have to say, it makes me quite sad. The fact that we even need such a "national day" is disturbing to me.
We don't spank our kids. It's not something we believe in. Yes, we discipline our children, but we don't spank. We don't belittle, ridicule, talk down to, or make them feel as though they are "bad kids". Mistakes happens. Kids ARE GOING TO make mistakes. A lot of them. We embrace the mistakes as wonderful opportunities to learn. Without mistakes, you'd never learn what was right. So, nope, no spanking going on here. And quite honestly, I just don't see how it is considered an appropriate form of discipline on a legal level.
Spanking is hitting. I really don't understand why hitting children is ok, and actually even an encouraged form of child rearing, when hitting an adult is punishable by law. Where is the logic in that? When they are small, young, vulnerable, looking up to you for protection ... that's when it's ok to put the smackith down on them. Buuut, as soon as that person turns the magical age of 18, well, it's no longer ok. Put your hands on them and you'll get yourself thrown in jail.
WTF?!
Ok, lets back up a little bit. Spanking is hitting. Yes, I said it. Yes, I believe it. There are so many that dispute this, and I have yet to be convinced. Honestly, I just don't understand what there is to argue. I don't get it. I do understand that the word hit paints a much more negative picture then the word spank does. It's much more socially acceptable. But it is what it is, right? Taking your hand (or other object) to another person (child or not), no matter the intent, is called hitting, is it not? I ask this question whenever a spanking debate comes up, and I have yet to receive an answer/explanation that satisfies me. Anyone want to give it a shot? I'm not trying to be a smartass, lol, I am genuinely interested.
I'd go even further and call spanking abuse. I'm reminded of this news story I read a couple of years ago. A 13 year old boy had been hit (spanked for those that prefer that word) so badly, with a belt, that it caused bruising. He went to the authorities, and the father was originally convicted of abuse, but the appeals court reversed the findings. Saying something like
*spanking, even if it causes bruising, isn't child abuse. It's not called abuse unless it causes serious physical injury*
First of all, I would like to know exactly WHO determines what is and what is not serious physical injury. WAY to vague for me. Secondly, WTF?! A child seeks help, and he's pretty much told *too bad, your father can beat the living crap out of you as long as no SERIOUS physical injury occurs, and you'll just have to suck it up* Sad, sad, sad. This same father was charged and convicted with child neglect involving his other children, btw, but yea... lets overturn an abuse charge, and give him free reign, and even encouragement, to carry on the "beat down".
It's very sad to me.

Where did this whole spanking thing come from, anyway? Who made it an "acceptable" form of punishment (I wont even use the word discipline, because I don't believe it is). Why are so many people OK with this? As I said earlier, if an adult hit another adult, enough to cause serious injury or NOT, it would be called assault. Why on EARTH are people ok with lessening the laws when a child is involved? Really, shouldn't the laws be HEIGHTENED, to further protect children? After all, they are at their most defenseless and vulnerable when young, shouldn't the laws be stricter in order to protect them better? Why is it ok to bully and intimidate our own children, all in the name of "love" "teaching" "guidance" etc ... but not so much ok to do so with an adult -a person fully capable of defending themselves against such treatment.
And while I'm on this rant, can I just add that those parents that take pleasure in hitting their kids make me completely sick! You know the ones I'm talking about, don't you? The ones that joke around about it, make light of it, exchange stories with their friends about it. Yea, those ones. Seriously, is it something to be proud of? Something to brag and gloat about? I swear to heck, THAT drives me crazy. Like you REALLY have reason to brag because you can "light the ass" of your 3 year old??? Ohhhh, you're a stud now! And in the very next statement you're complaining because that very child is beating up her siblings?? UMMM - no kidding she's beating on her siblings, that's what she knows. Something doesn't go your way, or someone isn't acting the way you want them to act, you hit 'em. Right, Mom?

yes, I'm a bit irritable today. Perhaps not the best time to blog about a subject that sparks so much passion in me. Then again, perhaps it's the perfect time. Nothing but raw emotion ...