January 5, 2012

Part Two ... TRUST

Posted by meli on Thursday, January 05, 2012 in , , , , , , | No comments

Trust really is amazing. I'm still in awe over how this journey played out for me when I opened myself up and embraced trust.

I knew I wanted to wait until the kids went to bed before I got to cutting, so the rest of the evening was spent in a state of euphoria. A pleasant mixture of both enjoying my dreads for the last few hours; as well as immense excitement for the freedom to come. I talked to the kids about it before they went to sleep. I didn't want to just throw my bald head on them the next morning. I envisioned screams of an intruder! lol. They deserved to have some time to sort through their feelings, ask questions about it, and find comfortability without being forced to deal with it. We spent about an hour talking before I tucked them in, kissed them goodnight, and then sat in front of the fire and meditated for a while. Soaking in the feeling.

fire meditation

saying goodbye to my dreads.

I spent some time honoring my dreads. Thinking about everything I had been through since putting them in; good and bad. All the life changes that seemed to stem from the strength, patience, and love I took from them. But also all of the chains I felt tied to because of the fear I felt about "losing myself" without them. I've learned a lot about myself and life through this experience. I am forever changed because of them; because of who I became with them.

one last embrace
My dreads symbolized the past.
I envisioned breaking free from the past and stepping into the future. 
One last deep breath... SNIP!

off with the dreads
My hands were calm. My heartbeat rhythmic. No fear as I carefully snipped away each and every dread; exposing myself. Opening myself. FREEING myself. The sense of calm I felt still amazes me. It was unbelievable. And then when the clippers took that first buzz down my head ... oooh the happiness I felt. The giddy excitement that burst out of me. The smile that was permanently fixed on my mouth. LOVE! 

I chose to burn my dreads in our New Years fire. One by one I threw them into the flames. Watched as they sizzled and bubbled; turned to smoke and drifted away. I watched my past release me from their chains. I saw my future bright and open. And it all started with trust.

TRUST will be my power word for the new year.
Hello 2012 ... you look mighty sexy to me!


Post a Comment