January 12, 2013

Raise Your Glass



The Big Chill (more of that later *wink*) took on the town last night, 
but actually the town took me on.
Or a single event in the town; that is.

We went out to bar hop, but having only one bar in all of Key Largo (what?!) we big chilled at the Caribbean Club. We danced, we drank, we laughed, we shared stories, we climbed trees, we peed in the ocean.

we witnessed a tragedy...

We noticed emergency lights near the road, so we went to check. My eyes immediately went to a body on the ground. In the middle of the street. Motionless. Paramedics grabbing something from the back of their vehicle. A sheet. In slow motion they unfolded the sheet, flipped the middle into the air, and lowered it down on the body.

The man was crossing the road when he was struck by a car. The car wasn't speeding. The driver wasn't drinking. He was just getting off of work, and on his way home. The man crossing the road, with a cane, may not have been paying attention. Perhaps he thought he had more time then he did to cross. Maybe he chose to be there. We'll never know. Dead. Just like that.

And at the exact moment the sheet touched his body, the biggest, brightest shooting star I have ever seen shot across the sky. At.The.Exact.Moment.

Chills.
And then tears.
A lot of tears.

I stood there, in the parking lot, crying over a man I had never met. A man whose life was taken so suddenly. Did he have a family? I cried for the emergency personal who would have inform that family of the tragedy. What a heartbreaking job. I cried for the man who was driving the car. I can't imagine the feelings he will go through for the remainder of his life. Does he have a family? I cried for my Tony. Who left me, left all of us, far far too soon. I felt my body shaking. I collapsed into Nicks arms, feeling such an overwhelming sense of grief. Tears burning my cheeks.

That shooting star.
So amazingly beautiful.
So serene.
So very poetic.

We went back into the bar, raised a glass, and hugged.

Life is short, yo.
So, so, so damn short.
Live it up, Raise your glass, and Love with your entire fucking hearts ...
every . single . second

December 15, 2012

We Made it to Florida... I think!

all of us, smooshed into the tow truck, looking inexplicably happy. 



A little over a week on the road... and holy crap!

We made it to Florida.
Just Barely!

We got here so late that the park was already closed, so we're waiting out the night in their parking lot. We're now pros at boondocking in parking lots. Without a generator even. Boom.


We made it to Milwaukee last Saturday evening without much more trouble. We noticed on Friday that our truck wasn't working to recharge the rig battery while connected, so something was up there ... but nothing that prevented us from trucking on. Even if we COULD see our breath when inside of our home that night (with no battery power our heater wasn't kicking on), in Minnesota, when outside temperatures reached single digits. Seriously fucking COLD!

Cold!

Really cold!

But, we survived. And the nip in the air served to get our butts in gear quickly the next morning so we could get back in the warm truck!

We were all very excited to rummage through our storage unit for long lost *buried* treasures. And I do mean buried! My husband was in charge of moving our things into storage, and holy hell, did he make a mess of it! I was completely overwhelmed the second we flung that door open. It took a lot longer then we anticipated, between anxiety driven temper tantrums, and tired fits of rage, and hunger induced grouchiness, but we finally got everything out of there that we wanted... I think. We just sort of threw everything into the RV; with plans to slowly organize in the three weeks we'll be in Orlando. Screw Disney, we've got unpacking to do! :-/  And also, screw Disney anyway!

We had some really good, even if short, visits with family and a dear friend.
My Dad and Nick fixed the battery charging issue.
And we were back on the road a couple of days later.

We made it almost to Georgia before we stopped for the night on Wednesday. We found out pretty quickly that rest stops are not plentiful along I75... and it's REALLY not easy to find one that has space available after the sun goes down. Shit! Serious Truckerville, Batman! We woke the next morning a little less ready to roar then previous days. We were all exhausted and super appreciative of the extra hours of sleep. When we finally got rolling we were set to make it to Orlando late that night, but we only made it a couple hundred of miles before our trucks engine shut off on us. On the interstate. At night.

Sweet.

A quick call to the insurance company let us know that no, we infact did not have road side assistance. Whoops. We bought a service contract with our RV, and were so pleased to find out that it covers towing (to include tow vehicle). Not so pleased to find out that they only cover $100 dollars, total. We were just looking to be towed 2.3 miles up the road, to a Walmart parking lot, so Nick could figure out what was wrong ... and the tow company was going to charge us over $300 for it. For 2.3 miles. Whaaaaa??!!? AND it was going to take them about 2 hours to get to us...  on the interstate... at night.

Atleast the wait gave Nick time to look the truck over and decide he was not going to be able to fix it himself, so when the tow guys actually got to us we were able to work out a deal to be towed to their auto shop for repair. Because they would be earning our repair business, they said they'd only charge the $100 dollars in towing covered by the service contract. So that was good.  Repairs would have to wait until the next day when they opened, though, so we all crashed. Exhausted. Hopeful for a quick cheap repair in the morning.

Haaa, not!

They had their entire garage looking at our truck, trying to figure out what the problem was. Fuel pump burnt out, for sure. But replacing it didn't fix the problem. As the list of "cheap fixes" kept getting nixed, and the possibility of an expensive repair became more and more likely ... I lost it. Super freaking lost it. Locked myself in my room and cried, cried, cried. That... did not help! A roaring headache, and still no answers later ... the garage was closed for the day, and we were sleeping in their parking lot again.

In the ghetto.
With no toilet access.
But we did have electricity ... so we were warm.
Ahhhh, warm!
And who says a lady can't pee behind a dumpster?
All night long.
Because she drank a billion gallons of water trying to rehydrate after her cry.
Hoping that would help her headache.
It did not.

The truck was towed to another garage bright and early the next morning. So we waited.
And waited.
And waited.

About 4:30 that afternoon I hear the familiar sound of an engine charging into the parking lot. Sure enough. Our truck. Moving itself ... no tow necessary. Thatta girl! Or boy? I dunno ... it's technically not my truck.

Apparently when my Dad and Nick were working to get the truck to charge the rigs battery again they spliced into the wrong wire (the RV company jacked up the wiring when they installed the bed outlet plug, and it was causing a mess of problems). All of the wiring under the truck had to be replaced, and we're no longer able to use that side plug. BUT, the freakin thing works, it didn't cost the $4000 that the garage was anticipating, and we made it down to FL.

I think we're in FL.
It's dark.
We're all a bit delirious.
We could be in Kansas for all we know.
But, whatever, we're somewhere!

Just in time to celebrate my birthday.

Tomorrow (today?)

In bed, probably ... because I'm exhausted!

December 7, 2012

Two Days In



We did it! 
We hit the road. On Wednesday. Like planned.
Boosh!

I can't say the plan was executed without a hitch, though.
2 days on the road, and we've had a bunch of excitement already.

We woke bright and early yesterday, ready to roll... right after our UPS package was delivered. Of course while waiting for that brown truck, little odds and ends kept popping up that needing tending to. Little odds and ends that added up pretty quickly to mean we didn't even have the 5th wheel hitched up before UPS came at noon. One last run to the recycle center, and we were ready to hitch and ride. Only... our landing gear busted nuts while raising it to hitch. A project that required the entire side of landing gear be taken apart and repaired. 3pm when that finally gets done. Okay, still time to make it over the mountain pass before the snow hit. All hitched up, car loaded, hugs and lots tears saying "see you later" to our grandparents, started the truck ... no lights on the trailer. Whaaa?! 

 

Fingers crossed for a simple fuse problem. No sir. Simple is not the way we roll. Checking this and that, taking apart this and that, and finally they decide to go under the truck to check the wiring. Still hitched up, we needed to back up a little so we could lift the front end of the truck a bit. Me, having never driven this thing before, gets tasked with backing up! The door was open so I would be able to see my Grampa, but I still couldn't really see him, so I stuck my head out further, while backing up (not gassing it... just lifting my foot off of the brake a bit to roll), so I would at least be able to hear him over the roar of the diesel engine. I had my head stuck so far out of the door that I almost fell out at the same time I hear a "STOOOOP". Too late. He was gesturing thinking I could see him, so his stop came AFTER I hit the house. Dented their gutter, put a few new holes in the back of our rig (we JUST finished repairing collision damage!), and our ladder is bent and crushed into the rig. The kids immediately ask "are we going to have to wait for moooooooore repair parts to come in now" (a 2 months process for the last repair, lol). Nope! We are LEAVING TODAY even if that means we're dropping pieces of our house from here to Florida. 



They finally get under the truck... Bingo! Faulty loose connection. A pretty quick fix after that. It was almost 5pm when we finally hit the road. We drove 6 hours before stopping from the night. Now, I've watched a lot of horror movies involving rest stops, thankyouverymuch, so the days leading up to this was a bit worrisome. Once we stopped though all my fears were immediately gone. Maybe because I was already half asleep? lol. We were all very excited for our first overnight at a rest stop, though the excitement only lasted about 10 minutes before we all passed out.

This morning I woke up at 6:30am ready to hit it! Lucy, the sweet stray pooch that adopted us a month ago, decided it was a good morning for puppies! I hoped we had enough time to get settled in FL before the arrival, but ok, lets do this! The first two puppies born were great. Same color as mama, and all kinds of wriggly. The third puppy was black and white. So cute! We were all so excited. Lucy was soon done cleaning him up, and went right into contractions for the next. I noticed that he wasn't wriggling around trying to find a teet. I looked in closer to see that he wasn't breathing! Years ago I watched some puppy show on animal planet, and I remembered them saying that if a puppy isn't breathing, hold it firmly in your hands, belly up, support it's head, and fling it! A swift motion from shoulders to knees. It's supposed to work to bring up any fluid in the lungs. Sooo, we flung him, and flung him, and flung him. He'd make grunting sounds after each fling, but then go back to not breathing. We called the closest vet (40 minutes away), but the Dr wasn't in yet. Started puppy CPR. Holy crap, tiny little puppy mouth to mouth will surely wake you up in the morning! We decided to continue CPR in the truck while we headed to the vet... at least we'd be closer if they thought they was something they could do. He was gasping for breath, which was better then not breathing at all. Atleast there was some sound there. 5 minutes into the trip I was getting worried that the pup was getting too cold, so I stuck him back in the box. I put him under the other three pups, so the body heat would warm him up, and also so their wriggling would consistently be pushing on and stimulating his lungs. 

 

We get to the vet clinic to check in. I look in the box... and there he was. Wriggling and climbing around. Breathing just fine. Like nothing. 

!!!



There was nothing more the vet could do, so back on the road we went with a very watchful eye on little Rocky (had a rocky start, while going over the Rockies, putting up a great fight like Rocky ... I mean, c'mon, there was no other choice in name).

About an hour later, another puppy was born.
Five!
How in the hell did 5 puppies fit inside of this tiny little dog?!
And also, holy freakin nut house up in this RV when they all start running around.
SEVEN dogs in an RV?!
TWO cats. FIVE people.
Get the straight jacket ready.
Also... who wants a puppy in about 8 weeks? 




Speaking of the Rockies. Holy fucking snow, Batman. I wanted to leave early on Wednesday to avoid it, but our late start wednesday, and then all the excitement and late start this morning equals we didn't miss it. At all. Like seriously ... NOT.AT.ALL. We were in snow all day today. Up and down mountain passes. Our truck fishtailed a couple of times. I had a few minor heart attacks. My toes froze. My freshly washed RV is covered in mud. 

 

When we were planning which day to leave I said 
"I don't want to travel with newborn puppies", and 
"I don't want to drive over mountain passes in the snow".

Pssssh!

A week ago I should have said 
"I don't want to win this epic powerball lottery".
I'd be swimming in benjamins right now.

... only two days in.

December 3, 2012

tougher then that



That fear that was holding me in one spot.
Preventing me from answering the calls of the open road.
Stalling me from living my dreams.

Yea, that fear...
I flipped it off and walked away from it.

"cause I'm as free as a bird now"

Always have been; I just needed a little reminder.

You see. My husband and I ... we've had (have) a rocky relationship. PTSD and TBI and a whoooooole lot of selfish choices on his part and protective reactions on mine make for some pretty steep mountains to climb. We're climbing, but steep sheer rocks lend themselves to a lot of slipping. Sometimes it's 2 steps forward; 1 step back. Sometimes it's 1 step forward; 20 steps back. A process. A hard, rocky, often tumultuous process. The thought of being on the open road definitely has potential to scare me to my core. And I have let it on numerous occasions. Scare me. The thought of him walking out, again. Leaving us stranded in the middle of no where. With no savings account. It's a real possibility. And it's scary.

BUT!

I refuse to let fear dictate my life.
It may have stalled me up for a moment or two,
but it won't win.

I'm made of shit way tougher then that, baby!

We're rolling out Wednesday!

December 2, 2012

Sunday's Songbird ... Ganja Babe

In honor of Washington State bringing weed to the adult masses; I find this fitting ;-)

Annnnnnnd this song has been a long time slow hooping favorite of mine. I haven't hooped much since the rains have taken over, but I stare longingly at them on a regular basis. This song goes out to them ... I'm slow hooping in my head with you, my little round gods!



Ganja Babe ~Michael Franti
heavy medicine
ya see my eyes are feeling red again
i'm bringin' light
like thomas funky edison
been in the desert for forty seven days
purple haze
the poison that I tasted never changed
turn up the woofers, so I can feel the beat
vibrate 
my belly like a bomb in harmony
summer heat
my back is sticking to me to the seat
bare feet, tank top, and shorts is all ya need
summer breeze
i'm feelin' kinda fine
i'm rollin with my shorty all the time
wind and grind lovely shake your behind
cinnamon skin be bringing sin to my mind
but whether or not the weather's hot
or the weather's cold
i'm wrapping her like a blanket with my whole soul
so that she can feel me
like coca cola I'm the woo-o-oh oh 
sweet thing, my girl lollipop 
she growing mad crops
she rollin' herbs everyday
at about 4 o' clock
tick tock
strike the hammer while the iron's hot
ooh girl 
whatcha got cooking in the pot
see mary mary quite contrary
how does your garden grow
hydroponic, ultra supersonic
or does it grow naturally slow

ganja babe 
my sweet ganja babe
i love tha way ya love me and the way ya misbehavin'
ganja babe 
my sweet ganja babe
come wake body-ody take my mind away

everybody get down, and do the boogaloo
just like the cover of I want you
yoo hooo 
look whatcha gonna do
whatcha gonna do when the rent comes due
round up the posse, and call up the crew
5 bucks at the door, and ya bring ya own booze
call ya neighbors, 'cause they can come too
be sure and bring ya records 'cause I only got a few
so baa baa black sheep have you any wool
yes sir, yes sir a nickle bagful
some for my partner, some for my crew
some for my ganja baby she needs too
cuz just like me they long to be... high

ganja babe 
my sweet ganja babe
i love tha way ya love me and the way ya misbehavin'
ganja babe 
my sweet ganja babe
come wake body-ody take my mind away

ganja babe 
my sweet ganja babe
i love tha way ya love me and the way ya misbehavin'
ganja babe 
my sweet ganja babe
come wake body-ody take my mind away

take my mind away, ahh
take my mind away, ahh
take my mind away, ahh

November 27, 2012

Slipping Away



The road is calling.
I want desperately to answer her.
To go.
Feel her, smell her, be her.
Yet, I'm hesitant.
Stuck.
Feeling too far away.
Removed.
Like maybe she's calling to someone else.
Or maybe her cries are those of sorrow.
Regret.
Missed opportunity.
Did I miss it.
Is she gone.
That can't be.
Breath still fills my lungs.
Possibility never dies.
Why then.
Why do I feel her slipping through my grasp.
Further and further away.


Perspective.
It should come in a convenient snack pack sized juice box. If we can bottle up and sell energy in 5 hour increments; surely we can whip up some perspective. Maybe wine bottle size would be better. Although, what would I have to write about if not perspective.

We're still here. In my Grandparents driveway. Teetering between feeling like we could leave "tomorrow", and feeling like we're not any closer to leaving then we were 2 months ago. Most of our RV repair parts came in, but there were several pieces missing from our order (paid for) that we're trying to sort out. We're dealing with the "flood of 2012" in the back room (the kids' room) right now. A musty mildewy smell that has turned my stomach upside down and inside out. The puking is non stop. I think soon I may puke up some lasagna that I consumed when I was 13 years old; there can't possibly be anything left in there. Their mattresses and carpet are soaked. Soaked, soaked, soaked. So that's been a whole lot of fun. And our finances are not at all where we expected them to be before we headed out. All of this has prevented us from being able to hit the road yet.

A shift in perspective tells me that "things" will always and forever pop up. The real question is why are we letting them hold us back. Fear? Probably.

It's been almost 9 months since we first moved into this RV. 9 months of mostly sitting in one spot has lead to some serious meltdowns about even wanting to stay in this rig home of ours. Without the travel, living in an RV is just not enjoyable for me anymore. I'm feeling a need to stretch a little bit. Feel more stable. Seems if we don't get on the road soon; this whole travel dream will be smoke. Smoke because I'll have murdered it. With my bare hands. Or maybe I'll use a knife. I haven't yet decided.

I think this timeless transition period is definitely getting to me.

And digging into fear is not my favorite thing.

Digging in while feeling trapped.

Trapped because of the need to dig in.

Viscous little cycle.

Fear is a bitch.

Shit or get off the pot.

I can't sit still in this thing much longer.

November 5, 2012

My Vote; My Voice; My Reasons



Why are you voting for Obama?

I get that question a lot.
A lot, a lot.
And not just from conservatives or republicans, either.
In fact... mostly NOT from them.

Most people who wing that question at me are liberals. Far left liberals. My comfort zone people, if you will. They hear me talk about this or that through out my days, and naturally assume I'll throw my vote in the "green party" direction. An honest assumption, really. My personal views and beliefs do tend to line up a bit more closely with the green party then any other, but that doesn't mean I'm going to essentially throw my vote away to make a political point. I'm a bit more practical then that.

Yes, me, practical!
Save it!

When we have such a close race, with only two practical contenders (there may be 381 options on the ballot, but one of these two guys is going to win), and the other guy is going to run this country back 50 plus years; you better believe that voting "green" is the last thing on my mind. Even if that were my only reason, to keep the other delusional douche OUT of the white house, that would be reason enough for me to swing my vote in the other direction. An elitist with a religious agenda has NO place in government. You can roll your eyes and claim immoral all you want, as many of you have, but voting "the lesser of two evils" is absolutely a rational tactic in my opinion. In my very loud, and passionate opinion.

That is not the case for me this election cycle. It just so happens that I support Obama. Not on everything. There are things that I whole heartedly disagree with (the continued use of wire taps, and lack of passion to make gun control a priority, to name a few), but we line up on a lot of things. I think he's been great in office. My overly ambitious expectations were not met, but that's not a short coming of Obama ... no one could have met them; I'm sure. Obama has done everything we elect a president to do. And he has done it with less then supportive passion from the left, and an all out block on the right.  I think if people stood back and really took a look at the facts, instead of just rattling off Fox News' agenda, they'd see he's done quite a lot of good for this country in his 4 years. They'd see his plan (an actual plan, not some "see me after the election for the details" bullshit) for our future continues to move this country forward. And isn't that what we want? To move forward.

The right for every person in this country to have access to affordable health care. Affordable being the key word. How is this a socialist agenda? He didn't propose FREE health care, which I personally feel every human should have a right to (see why people assume I'd throw my vote so much further left?), he just wants it to be affordable. Stopping the ridiculous inflation of insurance companies where you can basically buy better health care depending on your salary. So the rich are privy to good health, the rest of us can go fuck ourselves, right? Why is taking care of our citizens with universal, affordable health care a bad thing again? Because I don't get it. I think, as I said, we should be striving for FREE not just more affordable. How is everyone not behind "more affordable"?

He supports rights for every Americans, not just the few that the religious right want to acknowledge. How we can call ourselves a progressive nation when only 5-6 states legally allow gay marriage ... is baffling to me. We are denying a percentage of our people basic human rights that the rest of us have, and yet calling ourselves "cutting edge", "progressive", "leaders".  Bullshit! There is the separation of church and state in this country for a reason. Obama has worked to make that line clear, the other side not only wants it blurred; but will work to decimate it. The effects of rights being stripped, progress being shoved back, and religious supreme court justices being put in place will be devastating and far reaching. Along with his support for gay rights, he also expanded the definition of hate crime to include assault over sexual orientation and gender identity. How this was up for discussion is also baffling to me.

In line with that "rights for every American" ... he supports a bill to restore basic protections against pay discrimination. Basically, he supports a federal law to maintain fair wages for women. Umm, yea! Who in their right mind would be against this. Oh, right, the "other guy".  The guy who also wants to make it his business what women do with their bodies, in every circumstance.  Obama has been labeled "the abortion president", with tactless "shock factor" images of him with bloody babies and a caption that reads "he EVEN supports partial birth abortions" sweeping the internet. Because, ya know, a great huge number of woman decide they no longer want a baby as it's being born. "Nah, on second thought, I changed my mind ... just kill it before it's fully here". That is ignorant. If my life is at risk, you better goddamned believe I want the right to decide which path I'm going to take. It is, after all, my life ... it should logically be my decision to take the risk or not. Piss women off as a whole by not supporting their right to equal pay, and by demanding that the government gets a say in their body, and the wrath will follow. Lets go ahead and ignite a civil war.

He has made great strides in restoring our image around the world. This is huge. Why make enemies? Why give off the impression that we're bad ass mofo's who will fuckyouup if you look at us wrong? He's checked Americas ego, and has put us back on path to be seen as a leading progressive nation. Much better then the title of Global Bully that we donned before.

He understands that in order for this country to make money, it's going to have to spend money. He's not delusional and spouting off empty pipe dream promises of a super fast recovery. We were in a huge hole when he took over office. We were free falling to another great depression and beyond when he took over, and he put the brakes on. He managed to stop our free fall before we broke through to great depression numbers, and he's helped us claw our way back up. Obama oversaw the creation of more job in 2010 then this country saw in all 8 years under Bush's administration. Jobs in our country have steadily increased over the past four years. Not at the rate many of you hoped for, but it is happening. There is no magic answer or quick fix. In an instant gratification, disposable world, people don't want to hear that it's going to take time. But for cripessakes ... it's going to take time. Time and money. Both of which Obama has been upfront and honest about, and both of which he has executed. It's a process I trust in and support. The other way... well, that is what got us in this mess in the first place.

He is invested in green energy. The only LONG TERM solution to getting this country energy independent, and the only option to even have a country in the long term by reversing global warming.

He's made college more accessible for our kids by vastly extending pell grants, and removing banks from the financing of student loans. Sure it costs a bit more money up front, but the payback is unmatched. Investing in our people, especially our children, advances our country.

He's putting money into social programs because he knows that the heart of America relies on them. The right is pushing hard this image of Obama cutting medicaid and social security, cutting welfare and school programs, cutting this and cutting that. And then in their very next breath they push hard the image of Obama refusing to cut anything and spending us into oblivion. Ummm  ???  Which one is it? Oh, right, neither!

He realizes that defense spending doesn't need to be as high as it has been because we're not funding 2 wars anymore. Instead of continue to pour the same amount of money into defense, he's allocating the "no longer needed war money" back into this country. For infrastructure, social programs, and to take care of this nations Veterans. Our troops need support while they serve, yes ... but they also need it when their terms are over. Obama has made this a priority. I live it; I know.

I could go on, but it's sunny out and I'm going to go play outside.
And tomorrow I'm going to watch as this country hopefully makes the choice to continue pushing us forward.

GET OUT AND ACT!

Educate yourself on facts.
Claim your voice.
And cast your vote.




November 4, 2012

Sunday's Songbird ... Mosh

VOTE!
No Excuses!

Mosh ~Eminem
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America
And to the Republic for which it stands
One nation under God
Indivisible with liberty and justice for all...
It feels so good to be back..

I scrutinize every word, memorize every line
I spit it once, refuel, re-energize and rewind
I give sight to the blind, my insight through the mind
I exercise my right to express when I feel it's time
It's just all in your mind, what you interpret it as
I say to fight, you take it as I'mma whip someone's ass
If you don't understand, don't even bother to ask
A father who has grown up with a fatherless past
Who has blown up now to rap phenomenon that has
Or at least shows no difficulty multi-task
And in juggling both perhaps mastered his craft
Slash entrepreneur who has helped launch a few more rap acts
Who's had a few obstacles thrown his way through the last half
Of his career typical manure moving past that
Mr. kisses ass crack, he's a class act
Rubber band man, yea he just snaps back

[Chorus:]
Come along follow me as I lead through the darkness
As I provide just enough spark that we need to proceed
Carry on, give me hope, give me strength
Come with me and I won't steer you wrong
Put your faith and your trust as I guide us through the fog
To the light at the end of the tunnel
We gonna fight, we gonna charge, we gonna stomp, we gonna march
Through the swamp, we gonna mosh through the marsh
Take us right through the doors (c'mon)

All the people up top on the side and the middle
Come together lets all bomb and swamp just a little
Just let it gradually build from the front to the back
All you can see is a sea of people some white and some black
Don't matter what color, all that matters we gathered together
To celebrate for the same cause don't matter the weather
If it rains let it rain, yea the wetter the better
They ain't gonna stop us they can't, we stronger now more than ever
They tell us no we say yea, they tell us stop we say go
Rebel with a rebel yell, raise hell we gonna let em know
Stomp, push, shove, mush, Fuck Bush, until they bring our troops home (c'mon)

[Chorus]

Imagine it pouring, it's raining down on us
Mosh pits outside the oval office
Someone's tryina tell us something,
Maybe this is God just sayin' we're responsible
For this monster, this coward,
That we have empowered
This is Bin Laden, look at his head noddin'
How could we allow something like this without pumping our fists
Now this is our final hour
Let me be the voice in your strength and your choice
Let me simplify the rhyme just to amplify the noise
Try to amplify the times it, and multiply by six...
Teen million people, Are equal at this high pitch
Maybe we can reach alqueda through my speech
Let the president answer a higher anarchy
Strap him with an Ak-47, let him go, fight his own war
Let him impress daddy that way
No more blood for oil, we got our own battles to fight on our own soil
No more psychological warfare, to trick us to thinking that we ain't loyal
If we don't serve our own country, we're patronizing a hero
Look in his eyes its all lies
The stars and stripes, they've been swiped, washed out and wiped
And replaced with his own face, Mosh now or die
If I get sniped tonight you know why,
Cause I told you to fight.

[Chorus]

And as we proceed,
To Mosh through this desert storm,
In these closing statements, if they should argue
Let us beg to differ
As we set aside our differences
And assemble our own army
To disarm this Weapon of Mass Destruction
That we call our President, for the present
And Mosh for the future of our next generation
To speak and be heard
Mr. President, Mr. Senator
Do you guy's hear us...hear us...[laughing] (Hailie)

October 30, 2012

One Week ... YELL FIRE

Politics.

I love politics.

Election season is my favorite time of the year!

Yes, I'm being serious!

Voted ... BOOSH!

I love everything about it. The electricity. The passion. The discussions and debates. Standing on the brink of change and claiming a voice. Revolution. Ahhh, I really do love this time of year.

sending my voice through the USPS this year


I've been relatively quiet as far as this election season goes; I don't think I've blogged a single thing about it yet. I don't like being judgmental and divisive, and I haven't yet figured out how to not be both during this particular election. I think Romney is an entitled smug elitist prick, and I haven't yet figured out a way to tone that down. With only a week left I think it's safe to say that "toning it down" will not be something I am going to attain, so blog as is I shall.

Romney is an entitled smug elitist prick!
How is this race so goddamned close?

I've read so many blogs, news articles, oped pieces, etc on this "romney love" that is sweeping a great many of you ... and I can't help but scratch my head. He is so out of touch with the average American. And quite frankly, "so out of touch" is the understatement of the century when it comes to this guy. Sheltered doesn't even begin to describe him.

Romney will not be leading us into the future, he'll be giving us a giant shove back into our past.
As though history has taught us nothing. As though the lack of learning from our history's history has taught us nothing.

This election has become too big.
The Supreme Court is at stake
Civil Rights are at stake.

Even people who are not religiously or personally against specific rights (which is a whole 'nother post for a whole 'nother time), are still choosing to not fight in favor of them.

Many of you shrug your shoulders on gay rights, because "well, I'm not gay, so who cares".
Many of you shrug your shoulders on women's right, because "well, I'm not a woman, so who cares".

"Romney wont increase taxes and wont touch my money, so since this/these specific civil right(s) don't affect me ... I'm voting for money".

That is an asshole move!

You are a human, right? Fight for HUMAN rights. If we don't constantly push to move forward on human rights; if we allow slack in the line because "this specific right doesn't affect me, so I don't give a shit"; if we allow this country to take a step (or seventeen) back ... when will it end?

You want to believe that our country has gone downhill because "God" is getting further and further "pushed out"? Voting for money over people couldn't possibly have anything to do with our moral decline, right?

And for a guy who is so out of touch.
SO.OUT.OF.TOUCH.


  • 47% of this country are moochers and he doesn't care about their vote
  • corporations are people and should have rights
  • middle income is 200,000 to 250,000
  • "the gays" are having children ??
  • in all his years as a 'business man" he never met a single qualified woman; had to resort to having binders of them sent to him from speciality groups.
  • thinks he can relate to struggling out of work Americans by saying "i'm actually unemployed at the moment, too".
  • endorses crazy ass fucks (of the men variety) who actually say, out loud, things like "pregnancy born out of rape is gods will".


Do I need to continue?

Again ... "out of touch" is the understatement of the century!
And again I ask ... how is this election so fucking close?

Yell Fire ~Michael Franti
A revolution never come with a warnin'
A revolution never sends you an omen
A revolution just arrived like the mornin'
Ring the alarm, we come to wake up the snorin'

They tellin' you to never worry about the future
They tellin' you to never worry about the torture
They tellin you that you'll never see the horror
Spend it all today and we will bill you tomorrow

Three piece suits and bank accounts in Bahamas
Wall Street crime will never send you to the slammer
Tell all the children in the arms of their mommas
The F-15 is a homicide bomber

TV commercials for a popping pill culture
Drug companies circling like a vulture
An Iraqi babies with a G.I. Joe father
Ten years from now is anybody gonna bother?

Yell fire, yo, yo, yo, yo
Yell fire, yo, yo, yo, yo
Yell fire, yo, yo, yo, yo
Yell fire, yo, yo, yo, yo

A revolution never come with a warnin'
A revolution never sends you an omen
A revolution never come with a warnin'
A revolution

Everyone addicted to the same nicotine
Everyone addicted to the same gasoline
Everyone addicted to a Technicolor scream
Everybody trying to get their hands on same green

From the banks of the river to the banks of the greedy
All of the riches taken back by needy
[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/michael-franti-lyrics/yell-fire-lyrics.html ]
We come from the country and we come from the city
You play us on the record, you can play us on the CD

All the shit you given us is fertilizer
The seeds that you planted you can never brutalize them
Tell the corporation you can never globalize it
Like Peter Tosh said, 'Legalize It'

Girls and boys hear the bass and treble
Rumble in the speakers and it make you wanna rebel
Throw your hands up, take it to another level
And you can never, ever, ever make a deal with the devil

Yell fire, yo, yo, yo, yo
Yell fire, yo, yo, yo, yo
Yell fire, yo, yo, yo, yo
Yell fire, yo, yo, yo, yo

Throw your hands up
Throw your hands up
Just throw your hands up
Throw your hands up

A revolution never come with a warnin'
A revolution never sends you an omen
A revolution never come with a warnin'

Yell fire, yo, yo, yo, yo
Yell fire, yo, yo, yo, yo
Yell fire, yo, yo, yo, yo
Yell fire, yo, yo, yo, yo

A revolution never come with a warnin'
A revolution never sends you an omen
A revolution just arrives like the mornin'
Ring the alarm, we come to wake up the snorin'

Yell fire, yo, yo, yo
Here we come, here we come
A revoution'll come
Put 'em up, put 'em up

October 21, 2012

Sunday's Songbird ... Confessions

So, if babies can bring me out of a blogging hiatus;
boobs can definitely keep me around!

Sunday's Songbird is back!
and in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month,
we'll (re)kickstart things off with this fine little diddy ...


Confessions  ~Tim Minchin
This first movement is called:
Feminism

I believe that women have the right
To walk the streets at night
And not be afraid for their lives
I believe that a woman has the right
To choose what happens to her body
Without suffering the judgement
Of the conservative right

And I believe that women have the right
to wear the clothes they like
Without being treated like dirt
And I believe we men are pathetic
how we seem to judge aesthetic
As the measure of a woman's worth
I'm ashamed on behalf of my sex
For making women feel like objects

Fuck I love boobs though
I just really love them
Fuck I love boobs though
I just wanna rub them
They're just so jooby 
They make me feel groovy
I would rather watch boobs than a movie
Be doop be doo. 
I just really like boobs.

And this second movement is called:
Poverty (altruism)

I believe people are entitled to basic human rights
Whether they are rich or they're poor
I believe a world where no children are starving
Is a world worth fighting for
And I try to remind myself
Even when I'm struggling
How incredibly lucky I am
And I don't think it's ok
That the luxuries I crave
Should come at the expense of my fellow man
I'm sure I could give a little more
To alleviate the suffering of the poor.

Fuck I love boobs though
I just really love them
I don't really mind if I am behind
Below or above them
They're just so jubbly
They make me feel lovely
I'd rather own boobs than a pub, be
Doop be doop doop doo doo doo
I really love boobs

The third movement:
Enviromentalism

I believe the that planet we live in
Is a living organism
And we must treat her carefully
I don't think we can assume
We can just go on consuming
Her resources indefinitely
The world's not a bottomless pit
And we can all do our little bit

Fuck I love boobs though
I just really care for 'em
They're equally fun
When they're aged 21
Or octogenarian
They're just so flappy
They make me feel happy
I'd rather eat boobs than a bap, be
Doop be doo
I just really love boobs

Evolutionary theory says bosoms are buttock-like protrusions
Designed to tempt men in situations
When they can't get a glimpse of your bum
I find such hypotheses dumb
It's like the one that says
Lipstick is for making your lips look more
Like the lips of a happy vagina
Since they said that
I can't look my great aunt
In the eye
Why'd they have to say that, oh why?

From that first little suck of colostrum
To the grope of the the nurse in the old people's hostel
We're just fucking monkeys in shoes
And I
Will always love boobs
I will always love boobs

October 16, 2012

Grateful for Loss


Today is Pregnancy and Early Infant Loss Remembrance Day. 
I lit a candle for the three precious babes I never had the pleasure of meeting. 
I lit a candle honoring these sweet souls, but I wasn't sad that they weren't here. 

We started trying for our second child when our first was a year old. We had three early miscarriages before I was able, again, to carry a baby to term. At the time it was devastating, and frustrating, and I wished it away. I questioned it, and cursed it, and sunk into an abyss of dark confusion.

It makes perfect sense to me now, though. 
Rylan was meant to be in our lives; he just wasn't ready yet. 
And in the meantime ... 
My body was letting me know I was still capable of carrying a baby. 

We went to different doctors requesting testing and options, but we were denied because we already had a child, which proved we both "worked"... coupled with the fact that I was still "able" to get pregnant (my body was just terminating any said pregnancy pretty quickly). They didn't seem concerned about that last part. We were told we would have to be trying for a minimum of 2 years before they'd entertain the idea of taking us on as patients. Gotta love the ego of medical professionals, right? It was frustrating. I couldn't understand how and why I kept losing our babies. I couldn't understand why the doctors wouldn't do anything/offer anything. I cried; every day. Praying for something. Anything.

But Rylan wasn't ready yet.

Had any of our other pregnancies been carried to term; Rylan wouldn't be in our lives.

And the Doctors. The frustrating doctors who seemed callous, as I sat crying on their tables while they said "Sorry Ma'am, but there is nothing we're going to do for you at this time; come back in a year". I hated them! But they did keep us from pursuing other avenues of getting pregnant/bringing a second child into our home during those two years. And as it turned out ... Rylan was conceived ON the 2 year mark; he knew what he was doing! 

So I lit a candle for the three amazing little souls who came into my life in the exact ways they were meant to; carrying out the exact purpose they were meant to. 
They forced me to stand in patience while Rylan got ready. 

I lit a candle for them today, and I smiled. 

And then I squeezed tight the 3 sweet souls that found their way here, and have blessed my life in ways I could never have imagined. 

My life is whole, 
and perfect.