November 25, 2007

Juice Fast/Feast

Hi everyone! I'm starting a juice fast/feast, so I thought this would be a great time to start blogging here.

First, a little about me. My name is Melissa. I'm 27 years old (soon 28 ;-P ). I've been happily (for the most part, lol) married for almost 10 years to a wonderful man. I'm Momma to my three amazing, unschooled boys, Larson is 9, Rylan is 5, and Owen is 3.My life has been a rollercoaster, to say the least, but I'm finally feeling centered and at peace with my journey.

I'm a raw vegan, as is my entire family. We've been vegan for over 7 years, and turned towards a raw vegan lifestyle 7 months ago.

A little history that lead me to the raw vegan path.

I've never liked meat. The taste, the texture, most importantly the "thought", it all turned me off. I was forced to eat it as a child. I remember vividely having to stay at the tables for hours after dinner was over until I finished all my meat. I would cry and cry, but I still had to find a way to swallow it down.

When I hit my teens, I all but lost my passion for a meat free existance, and merely just tredged along doing as I was taught. I had quite an unhealthy relationship with food. Swaying back and forth from anorexia to bulemia to compulsive over eating that lead straight into early adulthood.

My weight shot up to 180 lbs, my heighest adult weight (aside from pregnancy, that brought me up to 195). I didn't see me when I looked in the mirror anymore. It was someone elses body, someone elses eyes, someone elses soul. I lost ME somewhere along the way.

I was 20 when I again regained my desire for compassion. One night I just decided I was done with meat. I cleared out my house of all things meat related, and gave them away. Ahh, I felt free! I felt like I was making a difference. That is until about a week later when reading Why Vegan online ( I sat staring at the computer screen, mouth wide open, tears streaming down my face, wondering how I allowed myself to be so oblivious to these horrendous facts. That night I cleared out my house of everything dairy and egg related, and we were officially a vegan family!

THAT was freeing. I found a renewed sense of passion.

We weren't exactly the picture of health, however. We were (still are) Vegan for animals rights, first and foremost. Environmental and health issues were an added bonus, but we were in it for the animals. Our health came second (if we thought about it). Sure, I dropped a lot of weight when first switching my diet (about 40-45 pounds in several months), but as the years went by, the more unhealthy I became. We would indulge in all the treats and snacks that we could find, and we did so guilt free as long as they were vegan.

My life was still up and down and all around. I felt like I was finding myself, but everything I seemed to uncover was so polar opposite to that of which I was taught/shown growing up. Everything I discovered seemed to sit on the side of "socially unacceptable". I didn't feel quite comfortable with that. I didn't possess the confidence I needed to move freely through life, being myself. So, I started pulling inward. Removing myself from the world, and the people in it. I kept myself at a safe distance, and didn't let anyone in.

Depression, anxiety, eating disorders ... all again creeped back into my life.

My weight fluctuated from 170 lbs, down to 124 lbs, back up to 170 lbs.

My body was screaming at me to WAKE UP and be better to myself...
I had daily headaches that would often leave me in tears. I was downing atleast 20 motrin a day for teeth pains. I had this pain in my lower back that would NOT let up. I was moody, anxious, depressed, withdrawn. I was holding on to past mistakes made. I felt like I was losing control, and I desperately wanted it back. I was in bad shape.

I stumbled upon raw foods when I was researching fruit/veggie cleanses/fasts. I was looking for SOMETHING to help get my life back together. I hadn't heard of people JUST eating raw foods before, and the idea really intrigued me. I researched and researched and researched, and totally fell in love with the idea of the whole thing. It took several months to finally take the plunge. I had excuse after excuse about why it wasn't a good time. 7 months ago I made the excuses stop. If I was waiting for the "right time", it would never come. If I was going to give this lifestyle a whirl, then was as good a time as any! So, I did it. April 24th, 2007! A day that changed my entire life.

WOW! That's all I can say, Wow! My headaches disappeared within the first few days (a week, maybe). The toothaches I was experiencing, gone!! Incredible. Two sources of immense pain for me, and they both vanished within the first week on raw foods! Simple Amazing!!!

Over the course of the last 7 months I feel ... wonderful!!! I'm feeling centered and at peace. I love the person I have become, and have this new found comfortability in my own skin. Life is amazing, and I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to experience it. My depression and anxiety, while still slightly there, are much more easily responded to now. I feel more in tune with my feelings, and I am better able to handle situations that cause my depression or anxiety to escalate. I have an easier time now letting go of things I cannot control (no easy feat for me, lol). I no longer wish to keep people at a distance. I WANT to be surrounded by beautiful loving people, all the time. I have this happiness about me. I smile almost all the time. And after only 7 months! Incredible!


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