October 9, 2009

It all boils down to Perspective!

Posted by meli on Friday, October 09, 2009 in | 1 comment
Feeling much better after my 'bitchin' pity party last night.
No residual hangover or anything!
Sweet! lol

Sometimes it's necessary to just ... wallow. I don't want to have to hide that part of me out of fear, or guilt, or not wanting to look/seem like an inconsiderate, non compassionate, soul-less human being. I don't want to be labeled a complainer. I don't want pity from anyone else. And I don't want to seem ungrateful for all of the wonderful things that are in my life. A bad day that I might feel like wallowing in every once-in-awhile shouldn't impact how I'm seen, it shouldn't define my character... by anyone, myself included (ok, myself mostly!)

It is what it is ... a bad day.

Most bad days I can turn around and remain hopeful, remain optimistic, remain happy; but sometimes I just want to cry, and scream, and bitch, and moan, and well ... feel sorry for myself. I'm giving myself permission to do that without the side order of guilt I usually lay down.

I know my husband is sick, and he can't just turn that off so I am allowed a break. I know he would if he could ... and just knowing that is enough most days. I wont lie, though, sometimes it's not. As irrational as that is, and I know it is, sometimes it's not enough. But that's ok. It's ok if we're not happy and hopeful every second of every day. It's ok if we sometimes mourn days past... an easier time. As long as we're not dwelling on the past, or on what could have been, it's ok to be sad, or mad at the situation sometimes. The majority of our energy is spent being grateful for what we have, not focusing on what we've lost. So, every once in a while, on those really bad days, when you're just zapped of hope and positive feeling - it's ok to wallow!
And, it probably wont last long before perspective comes back to you ...

1 comment:

  1. it's totally healthy to have a pity party every now and then...helps you deal with the real "here" and "now" of life....sometimes life does not feel like giving you a break and though you know things aren't hopeless and you know it will pass, sometimes you just have to live the lows...i've been known to have wallow weekends every now and then...hope that LES helped relieve some of that stress that was building : )