Posted by meli on Thursday, June 07, 2012 in kidisms, life of play, parenting, unschooling | No comments
I cuss (I know, shocking!). My kids cuss (that one may actually be shocking to some of you?). Also shocking may be the fact that I don't care that they cuss. I mean, first off - they got it from me. Am I really going to get bent out of shape and all "you little bastards; don't talk like that; suck on this soap" when they got it from me?! Second off, who cares!
They usually choose to be respectful about it. They know their surroundings, and choose when and how to express themselves based on what they feel is right. However, there have been occasions where we've been at a park (or something), one of them will trip, or hit their head, or get a slide burn, or drop their water, or forget their cue for attack, or whatever, and the word "shit or dammit or ..." will fly out (when usually they prefer to express themselves differently in such places). Nearby parents will immediately look to me, all bug eyed and foaming. I assume they're waiting for my response. I mean, my kid just said the word "shit" in front of their kid. Surely I'll reprimand said potty mouth right then and there, showing their kid that my kid is bad, bad, bad. Bad words are... bad! Punishment will be had for their bad language. Ooooh, Punishment.Will.Be.Had!!!
Nope. I do nothing. I say nothing. Bug-eyed parent then takes it upon theirself to approach their kid and give a big loud lecture on how inappropriate "bad words" are, and why we should never, ever, ever say them. "Even if some people say such awful things; we know better". "Now, let's go play waaaay over on the other side of this play structure, m'kay?"
Oh Gawd! So good to not be around THAT for 5 days while we were unschool conferencing our asses off. So, so, sooo good!
That being said ... my kids didn't choose to run around the conference showing off their vivid vocabulary just because they had the freedom to do so without eliciting looks of disgust, or having to listen to another kid get lectured on their behalf. They showed the same decision making that they always do. I can imagine a person (child or not) who isn't "allowed" to say such things in certain situations, deciding to go all hog wild when given (or when he sneaks/takes) the opportunity. But because we put no power in these words; they are neither "allowed", nor "not allowed" ... they just are. They're just words. So, going hog wild isn't something considered. They still chose to be respectful of themselves and their surroundings. Same as always. Sometimes a curse would be expressed, sometimes not. Whatevs. And I wasn't the only one with the whatevs attitude. THAT was the difference. And it made all the difference in our enjoyment!
Love the hell out of unschoolers, I tell ya ... love the hell out of 'em.
Although, I do have times where I feel, for ME, I maybe might wanna tone down the cussing. You know, act like a lady. YES, I can pull off lady, thankyouverymuch! I'm serious, though, there are times. They come and go. In and out. Waxing and waning. I'm just riding it for now. If ever that feeling sticks around long enough for me to actually dig into, perhaps I'll find myself all sweet and innocent, saying things like "gosh", and "oh bother" instead of the ever ready to fly off of my tongue "what the fuck" and "fuck the what".
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