So I've been getting some emails lately wondering if I'm ok. Not because of what I've been sharing on my blog, but rather the concern is derived from what I haven't been sharing.
I'm a chronic over sharer. That's no secret around here, lol. I've gotten a lot of slack and hate mail / comments over the years because of the way in which I blog. Laying it all out there. A messy chronicle of my life. A dumping ground for intense thoughts and feelings that some believe should remain private. It wasn't too terribly long ago that I addressed all of this in my post Holistic Blogging, so I understand the worry and concern. I appreciate it.
I haven't shared the details here of what happened in my marriage almost 9 weeks ago. I haven't shared the details with many people at all. Less then a handful, actually. The who's, the whats, the whys ... I haven't shared them. For no other reason then it just doesn't feel important to share right now. Unless I'm specifically asked, the thought of sharing the details just isn't there. It happened. Whatever "it" is, it happened. I have my version of the events that took place. He, no doubt, has his version. The versions are ours; the end result is the same; the details are irrelevant right now. Maybe one day I'll feel a pull to express them here, to put words to them, to let the experience root out and ground itself in this community for others to take what they will from it ... but right now it's just not important, and I won't force it.
I do still very much believe in everything I said in that Holistic Blogging post. I don't believe in sugar coating; my feelings are all here. Raw and vulnerable. Hurt and open. All here. I'm working through this. Some days are better then others, of course ... and I don't feel shame in my weaker moments. I'm not going to hide them. I'm still me. I'm still a chronic over-sharer, and I have no plan to ever stop :-) But the details are mine right now. And his.
I love you guys for your concern.
Super intense hardcore love for ya ... oh yea ;-)
When my husband moved out all I did was post a picture of the empty bedroom and said that he'd moved out - I hadn't been talking on my blog about our problems so it was a real surprise to a lot of people. That was June of last year. It wasn't until this June that I gave any sort of story at all and that was in verse form (http://www.truthfreedomlove.com/i-still-remember-the-day-i-found-out-about-you-and-her/) - I have no idea what else I may choose to share in the future.
ReplyDeleteI honor your not being pushed into sharing anything you don't want to/feel ready to share.