February 17, 2011

Identity Crisis

Posted by meli on Thursday, February 17, 2011 in , | No comments

Almost 13 years after saying "I Do" ... I finally *legally changed my name.
And actually, I don't know how I feel about it.

My military ID card came furnished with the last name Paul (lady typed up the form without even asking for verification, and I went along with it; whatever) ... Changed the name on my Drivers License almost immediately after getting married to coincide with that military ID (the only thing the dmv required back then was to show them a copy of our marriage certificate). Having the same last name as my sponsor (husband) seemed the easiest most hassle free way to deal with military crap. And since Nick wasn't around AT ALL for that 1st year, leaving me to thrust myself head first into the military world by myself, easy and hassle free were my favorites! So, really, in every day life I've been a "Paul" for years. But legally speaking (tax purposes, mainly) I'm still known by my birth name.

It's important to me that mine and the kids' last names match. Had I been thinking more clearly back then, I would have hyphenated the kids' last name. I didn't. I haven't wanted to legally change mine, nor have I wanted to go through the legalities of changing their name in order to attach a piece of my history to them. I haven't wanted to do anything. I've been stubborn, and resentful, and decided to just put it off until (... someday ... )

Well, "someday" is now fast approaching! With retirement just around the corner; my active duty military id card is soon going to expire. As soon as that expires, my drivers license will only be valid for 90 days before I''ll have to renew. After calling to see about the renewal policy for my expired ID (expired in 06!); we found out that in order for me to renew I will need to either have my license display my legal (maiden) name OR have proof of legally changing it for it to continue saying "Paul" (thereby matching every other every day card/document I have).

Kind of had to get over my stubbornness and resent real quick like, and decide which was most important ... holding onto my name or matching my kids' (they both seem so trite when typed out ... but I assure you they're valid! :-P)

You can see which I chose, but like I said, I'm not necessarily happy about it. Not necessarily unhappy either. I don't know how I feel yet ...


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